Friday, March 25, 2005

Is Cheney an Omelette Man? Does W Like 'Em Fried?

Since it is Good Friday and Easter is approaching, today is a good time to talk about Christ. But I'm tired of talking about big, important topics. At least for today. Go to AJM's site if you'd like two posts (1, 2) on Christ's suffering and Easter.

If you stay here, you get this instead--and this might be more palatable to you folks out there who are more private about their faith or don't profess to adhere to any particular brand of faith but like rabbits.

I want to talk about the White House Easter Eggs. Notice I capitalized "Easter Eggs". Evidently, since 1994, the White House has graciously accepted and displayed, with the coordinating assistance of the American Egg Council, a 50-states Easter-egg collection. Every year a new set of 50 is sent to the White House. You can find this year's here.

My question is what happens to the eggs after Easter. My mother once kept a red Easter egg in one of the specialized egg-cup stations in our refrigerator door. For 8 years. I counted.

I picked it up once in awhile and shook it. As the years went by, it started to rattle.

Finally, in high school, when my mother was away and my friend and I were feeling especially daring, I cracked it open. Inside, I found that the entire contents of the egg--yolk and albumin--had collapsed into an incredibly hard, small, black-yellow sphere.

So my friend and played with it for awhile. Rolled it around. Threw it. Scratched it with a knife. Then got bored and tossed it in the trash.

So what happens to the White House Eggs? Shall we assume that each one from years past (at least the ones that aren't hollowed out in the artistic process) has a solid core bobbling around? Or, are the fresh ones eaten on Mondays that follow Easter by hungry staffers? Are any of them fresh after such artistic application? Or, are they preserved like Han Solo in perpetuity in a special closet off the hallway to the Situation Room?

I can see W with fried-egg sunny-side-up yolk running down his chin. Cheney must eat Egg Beaters, though, right? The heart thing and all that.

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